The often quoted mantra attributed to Mohandas Gandhi is “Be the change you want to see in the world.” The famous peacemaker is saying that if you want to see any kind of radical shift, you must first be that shift. This is profound wisdom and rings true for every area of life.
If you want to have peace in your immediate world – in your family, in your work life, in your spiritual life – then you must first be the peace you wish to have. You cannot want peace in your life and constantly be in a state of chaotic stress and yelling bouts. Once you calm down to the level of peace you want to see, you will be amazed at how your immediate surroundings will match your level of peace.
It has been said that you cannot fight fire with fire. How many times have you raised your voice either to be heard or to get your point across – or both? What did the other person do? I can bet they raised their voice as well; perhaps even louder. Soon you were just two people yelling at one another; no one was actually listening to the other. This is not peace; this is not even conversation. It is two very loud monologues. Not very productive, I must say. But what if you lowered your voice instead of raising it? Or, what if you just stopped talking for a moment and simply listened? Yes, a novel idea! But what tends to happen is true conversation, true dialogue; not two angry and loud monologues. If you truly want peace, you must make the effort to create peace in your environment.
Ever noticed that when you whisper to someone, they will whisper back; and even ask, “Why are we whispering?” Pretty funny! But it is the power of being what you want to have. You want to have peace, you must be peace. You want to have health, you must be health. You want to have love, you must be love. You will never receive back what you yourself are not willing to give. It is in giving that we receive, as the prayer states.
So, just for today, be the peace, the love, the change you wish to see in the world.
Make Time To Be
Touching the stillness means taking a sacred pause to access the sacred presence. Our lives have become full of busy work and methods to distract us from touching what is too painful and too raw. When we can stop and come back to presence, we begin to access that part of ourselves that we have lost touch with.
In the daily busyness, we lose ourselves in the process. Our authentic selves get covered over with those things only designed to distract and disconnect us from our truth. in order to avoid touching what feels like too much, we medicate through addictive behaviors – food, drugs, alcohol, sex, people pleasing, shopping, and work, just to name a few.
When we can take a mental time out to stop and be fully in this present moment, then we can though that part of us designed to help us through the pain and the hurt. Our tendency is to avoid altogether and not even think about it. But what gets buried alive never dies; it only returns in later days in uglier ways.
Learning to take time to pause and be present on a consistent basis armors you for those moments when you feel like escaping the pain. You don’t have to escape into a world of addictions and crutches; you can access your own sacredness and stillness by pausing and being fully present.
So, just for today, STOP, TAKE A BREATH, and just BE!
My favorite book exhorts us to ask for what we want and it will be given us. Although this may seem simple enough, we really don’t ask for what we want? Why is that? I will share three reasons why I believe we don’t ask:
1. We don’t ask because we don’t know what to ask for. More often than not, we don’t know what it is that we want to be, to do or to have. We know what we do not want – which is more of the same of what we already have. The best remedy is to start with what you do not want and flip it around. What is the exact opposite? If it’s debt that you don’t want; then you want financial freedom.
2. We don’t ask because we fear being rejected or disappointed. We remember the pain of rejection and disappointment far too well, so we tend to steer clear of asking for what we truly want. One way to combat this is to stop asking those who cannot grant it. There is a wonderful slogan in the recovery movement: “Stop going to the hardware store looking for oranges!” If you know there is someone in your life that is emotionally detached or cold, then don’t go to that person looking for hugs and kisses! You are only setting yourself up for disappointment and rejection.
3. We don’t ask because we don’t believe we deserve it or are worthy of having it. This is a faulty belief a lot of people have bought into because it has been programmed in their minds as children. As a child, you were a victim of your circumstances. As an adult, you have choices. You can choose to question those beliefs that keep you stuck and prevent you from having what you truly desire. If you do not question, then you risk remaining stuck and living a very small life that is someone else’s story.
Begin by asking yourself. This is safe and there is no chance of rejection. When you ask a question, rather than simply making a statement, the mind immediately goes to work to retrieve an answer for you. Your own marvelous mind will bring into your awareness the people, the resources or the circumstances to grant your request. Because your mind knows better than you do consciously, you can literally ask and it will be given.
When you are experiencing any kind of pain – be it physical, emotional or spiritual – you tend to leave this present moment. You either fall back into the past when you were vibrant, healthy and pain-free; or, you shift into the future to a time when you will be again. Very rarely do you remain in this present moment to live with the pain.
Let’s face it; pain is not pleasant, so why not shift into moments when there wasn’t any pain? Yet, pain comes not just for pain’s sake; pain has an embedded story to share, a message to deliver. Because of the tendency to avoid the pain at all costs, the message never gets delivered and the story remains untold.
You have heard the adage, what you resist, persists. When you leave this present moment to avoid the pain, that is resistance; and the resistance only causes more pain. It is in the resistance that not only creates more pain but also creates a separation from one’s true self. Our authentic beings are meant to feel into the pain, listen to its story and then let it go.
“To live in this world you must be able to do three things:
to love what is mortal; to hold it against your bones knowing
your own life depends on it;
and, when the time comes to let it go, to let it go.”
~ Mary Oliver
So often I hear women say, “I am so stressed!” well, my admonition is to stop being stressed and start being blessed!
Any situation that seems stressful simply means that you have left the present moment, slipped into the past or into the future where you don’t have access to your normal coping strategies. There is no strategy to cope in the past because it is gone; there is no strategy to cope in the future because it has not yet arrived. The only time in which you are truly able to cope is right now in the present moment because this is the only moment you have.
In the present moment, you can tap into your attitude of gratitude. STOP, TAKE A BREATH, and ASK: “What do I have to be grateful for in my life right now?”
Feel into that and deeply appreciate the feeling. That you are here right now, above ground, is something to be truly grateful for. The mere fact that you are able to stop, breathe and ask must also be seen as a blessing. There are so many blessings in your life, but you must choose to stop being so stressed to recognize that you are so blessed!
Make the conscious choice to focus on what you want to expand in your life and stop giving energy, attention and focus to what no longer serves you.
It has been said that what you focus on expands. This is very true, yet there is one critical element to focus – it is your choice what you focus on. You can consciously choose to focus on those things that do not serve you and do not add value to your life – like scarcity, lack and not enough. Or, you can choose to deliberately focus on the things that you desire and want to see expand in your life – like prosperity, health and wealth.
Because of our past conditioning, we all have had an unfair advantage. This was our beginning, and though we may not have had much choice about our beginnings, we certainly have a say in how we live our lives from now on. We can choose to stay in the lack mindedness and live a mediocre life, or we can choose to change the story we are telling ourselves and others. We can turn the page and begin with a brand new clean page – one where we consciously and mindfully write our own script of what we truly wish to be, to do and to have.
When you change your script, your life story begins to change; then your reality becomes your script. Instead of living a life dictated by your external circumstances, you have the power to choose to create your external circumstances. Decide what you want your life to look and feel like; then fully live into that decision. Don’t just do it for one or two days and give up – you are giving up on your life and yourself. Your Divine Source did not create you to wallow in lack and limitation, but to have an abundant, creative and prosperous life according to your divine gifts and talents. And yes, you do have divine gifts and talents! If you are breathing, then you have divine gifts and talents. But just as you take your breathing for granted, you most likely take your divine gifts and talents for granted as well. It is time to re-discover and re-connect to your divine self.
First, you must stop from all of the busyness of day to day existing. Then, you must consciously and intentionally breathe. When you consciously breathe, it brings you back to this present moment allowing you to access your inner divine wisdom – that is where all of your answers reside. Third, you must ask yourself the BE/DO/HAVE Questions:
Who am I?
What am I here to do?
What is it I truly desire?
Then, wait for the answers – they will come. Don’t force it; just wait. Deliberately focus all of your energy and attention on the answers when they come because that is your life’s purpose. These are the answers every major decision for your life is based on. Deliberately choose to focus on your life’s purpose and life won’t be nearly as difficult or limiting.
Discover how meditating your pain away can be more beneficial and less stressful on the body than over medicating. This article is for inspirational purposes only. Consult your healthcare professional before making any changes in your medical procedures.
I am not a medical doctor, nor do I play one on television! I am someone who has lived with chronic pain all of my adult life. My pain can manifest itself physically, emotionally and spiritually. Whatever way it chooses to manifest itself, it can be extremely debilitating. Over the many, many years, I have gone to one medical professional after another and another. Each one prescribed something different that dulled the pain temporarily. I was even told that it was all in my head and promptly sent off to see a therapist. Fine, but I was still in pain.
It wasn’t until I hit peri-menopause and the volume on the pain got louder that I knew I had to take my healing and wellness into my own hands. I searched high and low for remedies and cures. I tried everything I could – within reason! Then, I got intentional about my healing. I had to simply stop, take a few deep breaths and ask myself some important questions; like what kind of treatment was I willing to use? I wanted nothing more to do with prescription medications – as they did nothing for me, except empty my wallet. What I did want was a way to lessen the pain enough so I could function throughout the day. I had to get serious and have long since stopped looking for a cure. After much research, what came to me became a process of living and being; but a process that also alleviated my pain – physically, emotionally and spiritually.
The meditative process I discovered became spiritual practices that I use each and every day to bring me back into the present moment and back into a space of wellness and wholeness. When I can stop and focus on my spiritual practices, I no longer feel the pain as I am no longer focusing on the pain. All I feel in the present moment is my mind, body and spirit fully integrated as one. Also, being a highly sensitive soul, I had the tendency to take on the pains of those around me. When I can focus meditatively, I can still empathize, but without taking on more pain in my own body.
And the side effects of my meditative practices? Oh yes, there are side effects. They include increased awareness and creativity; more focus and concentration (as you can imagine, it is difficult to focus or concentrate on your task when you are in pain); heightened intuitive abilities; and sharper decision-making, just to name a few. These were bonuses I hadn’t expected!
Speak with your healthcare professional. If there is any way to stop over medicating and begin meditating more, I highly recommend it. It is all a matter of focus – what you choose to focus on tends to expand. Focus on health and wellness and not on your illness and pains.
Of all the 7 Spiritual Practices, the most difficult to do id the first – STOP! This is why it is the first, because it is the most difficult; yet it is the most crucial. You may be thinking that it isn’t so difficult to simply stop. Well, when was the last time you consciously took the time to simply stop? If you are like most people, you don’t stop until you are either forced to stop or have no choice and must stop. These could be because of an illness or health crisis, the death of a significant loved one or something as mundane as getting stuck in traffic or having to wait on line. Whatever the reason, you did not make the conscious choice to stop – you were forced to stop. Even in these scenarios where you would benefit by stopping, your instinct is to do something – you feel you must do something! So, you are not really stopping.
The first spiritual practice of stopping means to consciously and mindfully make the decision to stop – stop doing and stop being all of your titles, roles and responsibilities. It means to set aside deliberate time to check in with your authentic self. It means taking time to get off the treadmill called life and just stop. All day everyday, you are walking around and living in a hypnotic trance. You get up when the alarm rings, you go through your routine as if on autopilot; and except for a few activities, today looks pretty much like yesterday and the day before. And, if you do nothing to consciously change it, your tomorrow will be the same.
Stopping allows you to step out of your routine, out of the hypnotic trance and come back to this present moment; which, by the way, is the only moment you really have. When you consciously stop, you unplug from the daily minutia and plug into your divine, creative source. You plug into your who and your divine why.
I think I must offer a word of caution here: because you leave the world of distractions, hence the trance, you will come face to face with your pains and displeasures. It is not until you come to a full stop that you meet your demons. Up until now, you have been avoiding them with the busyness of your life. Here is the newsflash: just because you ignore or avoid them, they don’t go away; they simply wait for a most inopportune time to strike again. And when they do decide to strike again, you won’t have any choice but to stop!
Making the conscious choice to stop daily puts you in touch with your true self and all of its pains and imperfections. When you can really stop, you will find that it is in those painful and imperfect moments where your deepest desires live. They become your greatest teachers with your greatest life lessons; teaching you how to become the authentic soul you were truly created to be.
If you allow the beauty of what you love to become who you are, you will find that your life can be lived consciously, deliberately and mindfully.
One of the most misquoted passages of scriptures is “Money is the root of all evil!” Now, if this passage were true, we would all be in big trouble! However, the passage actually states, “The love of money is the root of all evil!” Adding that simple 4-letter word vastly changes the tone and the meaning of the passage. I believe this is a very important and profound truth as well. What you choose to love can become the making or the breaking of you; you become what you truly love.
Think about what you choose to put all of your attention, energy and focus on. Is it something that brings about a sense of joy, peace and fulfillment? Or, is it creating anger and hostility in your heart and your mind? Is what you love and give attention to based on prosperity and true abundance? Or, is it based on lack, limitation and scarcity?
Stop, take a breath, and ask yourself why you choose to give attention, energy and focus to that which causes you more pain and creates a sense of scarcity in your life? If what you love and focus attention on does not fill you with joy, gratitude and serenity, then why give your love and attention to it? This is very simple, yet quite difficult for most. For so long, you have given all your attention, energy and focus to what you do not want, until it is second nature; it has become so habitual that you don’t even know you do it.
This is because most of life is lived on autopilot – be default. It is difficult to even fathom living a conscious and mindful life; a life lived by design and not by default. What this means is that every moment of your day is planned out to fulfill your life’s purpose and to fulfill your heart’s desire. You consciously and mindfully create your day – from the moment you wake up until you lay your head down to sleep at night. Every moment of your day is designed by you – creatively, consciously and mindfully designed to live out your deepest desires.
The Sufi poet and mystic Rumi once said, “Let the beauty of what you love, be what you do.” This is my favorite quote and has become one of my daily mantras. Eleven little words packed with so much wisdom and insight. This about what you love, what you truly love – this is also your passion, your heart’s desire. There is beauty in that which you love, which you deeply desire. Tap into that beauty and allow it to become what you do and who you are. When you can live from this place of conscious awareness, you will mindfully create your day to meet your needs and wants. You can stop allowing your daily circumstances to dictate your day – how you feel and how your react to it. Create your day one moment at a time, allowing the beauty that you love to guide you and become what you do and who you are.
One of the biggest educational undertakings is through the school of hard knocks. When we have gone through tragedies and trials, overcome obstacles and life challenges, we receive a tremendous degree of education and life experience; especially life experience we would have never received any other way. Most of us tend to view those life challenges as a negative thing or something to avoid or ignore, but this is far from the truth.
What I know as the 5 D’s of Loss: Debt, Divorce, Downsizing, Dis-ease, and Death – these are tremendous life changes that create new lives. Once you have gone through one or any of the 5 D’s, you are never the same; your life has completely shifted. The tragedy is some still want to hang onto the old life – pre-D’s, so they simply become stuck and cannot seem to move forward.
Personally, I have gone through all the 5 D’s, except divorce, yet I know the pain of primary and secondary loss. Loss is loss, whether the person left by choice or not; you still feel the pains of emptiness, loneliness, abandonment and even anger. Going through any of these grief emotions is unsettling at best, yet they become incredible teachers. When transcended fully, we come out with more empathy, more compassion, and more willing to be of service to our fellow human being – because we recognize the frailty and the fragility of life. We tend not to take things and especially people for granted because they could be gone from our life in the blink of an eye. Part of our metamorphosis is knowing that we are not the same but then neither is life as we once knew it.
